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Stories, favorites and great
Darwin awards
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Here: The Glorious Winner:
When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber, James Elliot, did something which only inspires wonder.
He peered down the barrel, then tried the trigger again.
This time it worked.
And Now: The Honorable Mentions:
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, expecting negligence, sent one of its men to look for himself.
He tried the machine and also lost a finger.
The chef's claim was approved.
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found twenty mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped.
Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff his patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. After the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.
The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15.
[If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]
As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store.
The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.
The vehicle's owner declined to press charges saying it was the best laugh he'd ever had and the perp had been punished enough!
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#EZ.31328 Exp 11-27
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Ref: Carol Sternecker
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Stories, favorites and great
Professional helper
Price: $0.02 / my two cents worth
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She hurried to the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found she had locked her keys inside.
The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said, "I don’t know how to use this."
She bowed her head and asked God to send her some help.
Within 5 minutes a beat-up old motorcycle pulled up, driven by a bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag.
He got off of his cycle and asked if he could help.
She said; “Yes, my daughter is sick. I've locked my keys in my car.
I must get home. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?”
He said; “Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute, the car door was open.
She hugged the man and through tears, softly said, "Thank you, God, for sending me such a very nice man.”
The man heard her little prayer and replied; "lady, I am not a nice man, - I just got out of prison yesterday; I was in prison for car theft.”
The woman hugged the man again, sobbing, "Oh, thank you God! You even sent me a professional.”
*Is God great or what!?!*
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Creative Thinking, Inc. 317 844-8189 (O) 777-4389 (C) |
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#EZ.58489 Exp 12-04
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Don Nixon, Editor, Publisher, Proofreader
Email: Ref: dmn:marilyn monroe
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Stories, favorites and great
There is value to have a proofreader and Tips with English Grammer
Price: $0.02 / my two cents worth
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1. Don't abbrev.
2. Check to see if you any words out.
3. Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct.
4. About sentence fragments.
5. When dangling, don't use participles.
6. Don't use no double negatives.
7. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
8. Just between You and i, case is important.
9. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
10. Don't use commas, that aren't necessary.
11. Its important to use apostrophe's right.
12. It's better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive.
13. Never leave a transitive verb just lay there without an object.
14. Only Proper Nouns should be capitalized. also a sentence should.
15. begin with a capital and end with a period
16. Use hyphens in compound-words, not just in any two-word phrase.
17. In letters compositions reports and things like that we use commas
18. to keep a string of items apart.
19. Watch out for irregular verbs which have creeped into our language.
20. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
21. Avoid unnecessary redundancy.
22. A writer mustn't shift your point of view.
23. Don't write a run-on sentence you've got to punctuate it.
24. A preposition isn't a good thing to end a sentence with.
25. Avoid cliches like the plague.
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Creative Thinking, Inc. 317 844-8189 (O) 777-4389 (C) |
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160 W Carmel Dr Carmel IN, 46032
#EZ.58490 Exp 11-30
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Don Nixon, Editor, Publisher, Proofreader
Email: Ref: dmn:marilyn monroe
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